


Hold that thought (for later)

by lantia4ever



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky's new shiny metal arm, Civil War Fix-It, Everyone is a good bro, Howard Stark's non-existent parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Tony Stark, Language, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Spoilers, WinterIron Spring Fling, and Tony deserves better, and so does Bucky, because bs villain plot is bs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 18:46:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7000150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lantia4ever/pseuds/lantia4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the WinterIron Spring Fling 2016  <3</p><p>Bucky has worked through his programming and is now living with the Avengers at the Stark Tower. And speaking of Stark, Bucky wants nothing more than to befriend the genius now that he's really come to know him better. Tony, however, is having none of it. </p><p>Leave it to everyone's favorite trickster, universe overlord wannabe and resident accidental matchmaker to unknowingly offer them a chance to start their relationship from scratch. </p><p>What could go wrong, right? ...right?</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Prompts: Age-regression; Tony talking Bucky through a panic attack; angst with sweet ending, insecure Bucky and Tony with the other offering comfort/understanding</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold that thought (for later)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlienPsycho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlienPsycho/gifts).



> Happy WinterIron Spring Fling 2016, wooooohooooo! ^^ *is that even a thing to say? idek*
> 
> And this one is for you, AlienPsycho! <3 Your heart desired a bit of kidifying magic and a whole lot of angst, insecurities and eventual happy endings and my heart swelled with excitement ^^ I couldn't resist combining them prompts and here's the result, which I hope with all my broken and battered heart you will like <3
> 
> It got a bit outta hand...especially since half-way through it I went to see _that_ movie...hope you won't mind me throwing in a bit of the Civil War madness, not too much though, not too spoiler-y either ;) Just enough to stir the angsty waters ^^ 
> 
> Without further ado, sit back and enjoy the read! Hope y'all like it <3
> 
> NOT BETA READ! All grammar attrocities are on me :'D

**oooOOOOooo**

Bucky would like to think he's adapting to the life in the Tower well. All things considered. His and Steve's friendship is no longer as awkward, Natasha isn't scanning his every move for danger, Clint stopped creeping on him through the vents and he'd dare say that the fellow James has become his good friend over the past few months. His humor is Bucky's kinda humor, so they bonded over weird jokes, whiskey and morbid war stories.

While Vision and Wanda mostly keep to themselves, the civil war somehow bringing them closer rather than apart, they don't seem particularly bothered by his presence when it comes to it. Vision even engages him in small talks on occasion. Overall, he's getting along with all of the Tower’s residents, despite their initial hostility and distrust.

Of course, there would have to be the exception that proves the rule.

Tony Stark, the mad engineer slash Iron Man slash their generous host, doesn't seem to be too thrilled about housing a former HYDRA assassin who not only killed his parents but also tried to kill _him_. Repeatedly. He's polite enough to ignore Bucky, avoiding him as much as possible, but from the few encounters they've had, Bucky could tell the engineer doesn't like him.

Bucky could deal with that...if it was _just_ that. But it's clear Stark is afraid. Afraid of Bucky. His body language betrays him no matter what press worthy smile plays on his face. He tenses around him, eyes tracking Bucky's every move, expecting him to attack at any moment. He's on high alert, simply defensive, but should it come to it, he's sure Stark would pull the armor out of his trousers’ pocket, ready to blow him into bits and pieces.

He understands why is Stark behaving that way. Hell, he'd probably be a bit jumpy too around someone who almost shot him in the face and then pounded him into a wall. He's having trouble just remembering that fight without feeling the creeping onset of a panic attack, let alone imagining what it must have been like for Stark. What it still must be like for him to live with his almost murderer under the same roof.

So something inside of Bucky wants to remedy that. Get on the engineer's good side, prove to him he's not a danger to him or anyone else anymore...that he won't jump out of the shadows and attack him...but that is all a matter of trust - a commodity the two of them are obviously running short on. And Bucky doesn't know what to do about it.

Which leaves him backing off, trying to look and behave as unthreateningly as possible whenever Stark graces them with his presence (or rather gets dragged into by either Rhodey or Natasha) during team dinners or movie nights. It's not working, because no matter how far he sits or how harmless he looks, Stark still spends most of his time nervously eyeing him, barely paying attention to the movie or the food.

It hurts. Even though he knows he's to blame, it still hurts. Because now that he's gotten to know Stark a bit better, hearing about him from Rhodey, Steve and even Vision, he thinks they'd be great friends...if they only hadn't met in the middle of a war. Stark is a sarcastic, snarky son of bitch when he wants to be - just like him - and Bucky often has to stop himself from outright laughing at his comebacks, or making one of his own. And oh, let’s not even mention the fact Stark is _extremely_ good looking. A thing Bucky is painfully aware of but, all things considered, feels very dirty about.

 _Wrong_.

Unknowingly, when the Avengers alarm goes off one day and he watches them assemble to engage the bad guy of the week, everything is about to change.

 

###

 

" _Sergeant Barnes_?" FRIDAY drawls uncertainly hours later, while he's making himself a peanut butter sandwich.

"Are they back?" He looks up, hoping for good news from the AI.

" _Yes, they are, but I thought you'd wanna know that -_ "

She pauses at the same time something collides with his legs, letting out a high pitched _umph_.

Bucky looks down with a frown that immediately melts into confusion. Laying on the floor by his feet is a boy, five or six years at most, his brown hair crumpled into a huge mess. "Um...what the...?"

The boy startles, looking up at Bucky with wide, tear-filled eyes that somehow manage to widen even more as they focus on Bucky, trailing up and down his body, resting on his uncovered metal arm. "Whoa!" The kid breathes out in absolute awe. "Did my father make that for you?" He asks, pointing at the arm while sniffling into his sleeve.

Bucky's eyebrows raise at the curious little kid until suddenly something clicks in his brain. "You mean Stark?" He blurts out and the boy excitedly nods.

"Yes! Whoa! So cool! How does it work?!" He speaks faster than a high powered rifle bullet and gets up, inspecting the shining metal with critical eye and another thousand questions.

Bucky inwardly smiles, knowing this could only be Stark's son. They're so much alike it pretty much punched him in the face.

Why didn't he know he had a son though? Once he was introduced to the Internet by an obviously scheming Clint, he thought he pretty much found everything about the man. He isn't stupid enough to believe half of it, but there was nothing about a son anywhere in there at all. Some insulting speculations, yeah, but nothing actually confirmed. Surely Stark wouldn't neglect such an...energetic bundle of curiosity.

Looking at the flailing child, he doubts a kid like that could even be ignored.

"Is that how you survived?" The kid frowns while conjuring the most adorable pout Bucky has ever seen.

"Survived what?" He asks before he realizes the kid must have recognized him. "Oh, that. That's uh...long story, kiddo."

His eyes bulged out again, as if he was just caught doing something naughty. "Does that mean Captain America is really alive too?! Oh no!" He wails and dramatically smacks his little palms over his face.

"Yeah, he's very much alive. Why? What's wrong?"

He lowers his head, cheeks going red. "I called him a liar and kicked him in the leg," he mumbles shamefully.

Bucky wants to console the kid, tell him Stevie won't mind...but he pauses, catching up with what the kid implied. "Why would he lie about that?"

The kid sniffles again, tears still threatening to spill. "I didn't know he was back...did father find him?! Why wouldn't he tell me?!" He hiccups in between sobs and to say Bucky is confused would be an understatement. Why wouldn't Stark tell him that Captain America is back? Hell, how did the kid not notice him in the news over the past few years?

He goes down on his knees and pulls the small boy into what he hopes is a comforting hug. The kid stiffens for a moment, before tentatively circling his tiny arms around his neck. "Don't worry, Stevie ain't gonna be angry with ya," he whispers to him.

"Reawie?" The kid mumbles against his shoulder.

"Really really," Bucky nods, ruffling the boy’s hair playfully when he pulls away which earns him another pout.

"Bucky? Haven't you seen a little...oh," Steve calls, rushing into the kitchen with Sam close behind, but freezes as soon as he spots them behind the counter.

Bucky stands up, smiling awkwardly at his teammates, but the kid jumps at the sight and hides behind Bucky's leg, hugging it close.

"I see you've...already met," Steve stutters, watching them with the same, stunned expression the kid gave him when he first saw Bucky.

"We got him," Sam speaks into his earpiece, probably alerting the rest of the Avengers.

"Yeah," Bucky sighs, looking down at his left side, where the kid is hanging onto him like a leech. "Didn't know Stark had a kid," he admits and gets not two, but three frowns sent his way. "What?"

"Of course you knew that," Steve says, still not daring to come any closer. "I know you and Tony have been ignoring each other, but I'm sure you haven't forgotten who he is."

"I know who _he_ is, just didn't know he had a son," Bucky explains, pointing at the little leech.

Realization dawns on Steve's face and he exchanges a knowing look with Sam. "Bucky...," he starts carefully. " _This_ is Tony," he points at the frowning kid. "You know... _the_ Tony. Howard's son?" He adds when Bucky just stares at him blankly.

"Loki went batshit crazy, man," Sam continues. "He must have watched Harry Potter or somthin’ and thought he could go all Voldemort dark arts on us...turns out whatever book he learnt from only thought him a couple harmless spells...some actually kinda hilarious, too."

"He turned Tony into a child," Steve summarizes it, when Sam seems ready to give an interactive commentary on their entire mission.

"I'm six, I'm not a child!"

Bucky looks down at the adorably furious kid - Tony - and has to resist the urge to jump away from him. Not that he could anyway as Tony's grip on his leg is as strong as ever.

"Sure thing, champ. That why you're hiding behind the big guy over there?" Sam teases him mercilessly.

"I don't know you. Father said I shouldn't trust strangers," Tony hisses, glaring at Sam.

"Say whaaat? How come Steve gets a kick, I'm getting glares and _you're_ getting the hug treatment?" Sam pouts, not nearly as adorably as kid Tony.

"Bucky isn't a stranger," Tony says, to Bucky's absolute surprise.

The six years old version of Tony Stark knows him. Recognized him right away, in fact. That piece of information kinda stops Bucky's whirling brain.

The rest of the Avengers pour into the dimly lit kitchen all at once, Clint making the fatal mistake of dropping from the vent right behind Tony, who immediately alerts to the stranger danger by stomping on Clint's foot with the entirety of his petite being and bolting for the second exit.

A collective sigh ripples through the Avengers as they watch him disappear in the hallway.

"Oh come on! Not _again_!" Peter exclaims, patting T’Challa on the shoulder in some mutual signal, both running off at the direction of the runaway engineer.

"Perhaps we should stop chasing him. He's scared," Vision tells Steve. "He apparently doesn't have any of his adult memories, so being chased by strangers must be quite frightening."

"The little menace seems to be having fun," Clint says in a high pitched, pained voice from where he's rubbing his victimized foot on the floor.

"FRIDAY can tell us where he is," Bucky offers, his brain somehow casually deciding to accept the fact that Stark is now a kid. He had seen some weird stuff...but he's still surprised at how easily he's adapting to the situation. He shudders, suddenly realizing the calmness is one of the terrifying remnants of the Winter Soldier programming, which he might have worked through quite successfully, but not unscathed.

"FRIDAY is having just as much fun obviously, because she keeps bullshitting us with some protocols that don't allow her to tell us where he's at!" Sam flails in frustration.

"Vision's right. We should stop chasing him," Steve decides and dismisses the team, including Black Panther and Spiderman. Everyone leaves the kitchen, clearly exhausted from the mission, just Steve, Vision and Rhodey stay behind.

Natasha lingers in the doorway on her way out, giving Bucky a calculating squint that makes his hand twitch towards his many hidden knives.

Another reflex he'd like to get rid of. Along with those hidden knives.

"Tony said he was a handful as a kid, but damn...," Rhodey trails off and sits on the bar stool with a huff.

"He is smart," Vision adds. "Smarter than children his age. We should treat him as such, otherwise we will only agitate him further."

"He seemed to like Bucky just fine," Rhodey smirks. "Maybe _you_ should go get the tiny Tony."

"I don't think so," Bucky retorts and makes a grab for his sandwich...but grabs a whole lot of air instead.

"Oh yeah, he nicked your sandwich during his hasty departure," Rhodey smiles innocently, exchanging a scheming look with Vision.

"Don't even think about it,” Bucky warns them and with a sigh starts working on another sandwich.

"They're right, Bucks. You're the only one he didn't mind having around. Talk to him," Steve - the traitor - suggests. "We already got in touch with Thor about the situation, but he said it might take a while to come up with a proper counter spell. Who knows how long is he going to be stuck like that...and I’d rather have him safely inside the Tower doing...kid things until then. At this rate he'll hack FRIDAY into letting him out and then what..."

Bucky glares at his best friend, currently in Captain America mode. He isn't ordering him to go get the tiny Tony but he might as well be. Passive aggressive son of a gun...

"Fine! I’ll go find him. Geez, Stevie! I'm just saying it's a bad idea is all," he mutters, still glaring at the now victoriously smiling Steve. He leaves the half-made sandwich to its fate and with a subtle roll if his eyes, he heads out into the hallway Tony disappeared in moments ago.

"Try to explain to him what's going on," Rhodey calls after him. "And that I'm supposed to be his best friend!"

He ignores them, instead focusing on the task at hand. "Lil' help here, FRIDAY?" He pleads at the ceiling.

" _I am forbidden from -_ "

"Don't tell me where he is then...just...gimme a hint or somethin'," Bucky tries, waiting to see if the AI will cooperate. She doesn't answer for a while though, almost making him believe she's ignoring him too now.

" _Boss wants to know if you're planning on chasing him through the hallways with Captain America_ ," she speaks at last, apparently having discussed the issue with tiny Tony.

"No...unless he wants me to...?" Bucky tries and few seconds later his leg is once again occupied by the energetic little leech, appearing out of nowhere.

"It could be fun, but you'd have to be on my team!" Tony blurts out, panting.

"Slow down, Sta...Tony. Playing tag is all fine and all, but...we gotta talk first," Bucky urges, going down to the kids level.

"About what?" He pouts, folding his arms over his chest even more adorably than before.

"Well...," he begins and realizes he doesn't know how to break the news to a six year old. Damn you, Steve! "There's been an accident..."

Tony tentatively listens to everything Bucky tells him. About the Avengers, Iron Man, the future...about the latest mission gone wrong. The boy’s face slowly falls neutral, his only movements being gentle nods throughout Bucky's talking. So when he finishes the explanation with how Thor will eventually arrive from Asgard and turn him back into an adult, Bucky braces himself for the worst.

A kick to the shin, stomp on the foot, crying, screaming, running...instead, Tony's face breaks into a scarily mischievous grin.

"Awesoooooome!" He shouts, eyes sparkling with intent.

"Um...you realize what this means, Tony?" Bucky asks, not sure how to even begin explaining the fact his parents are dead...let alone the little fact about who killed them.

The boy frowns. "Of course I know what this means! I'm in the future! And I'm cool! Right? The future me is cool? Awesoooooome!"

Bucky sighs, smiling to himself. "Of course that would be the only thing you'd take away from all this," he mutters, watching Tony jump up and down excitedly, talking to FRIDAY about all the things he wants to do.

They are all so screwed. And Bucky most of all.

 

###

 

Tiny Tony is a tornado. A tiny, but just as lively and destructive tornado. He quickly makes friends with everyone...everyone but Clint, who is still on his stink list...and the Tower is in a constant buzz now as a result. He grabs the first person he meets every morning and insists on doing something fun or going on an adventure. And when the person manages to sneak away he latches onto the next...it's crazy.

“Morning!” Tony exclaims, once again body slamming into Bucky from the side, but quickly corrects himself and puts his small hand into his metal one. “Bruce says I have to behave or he won’t let me play any more video games with Rhodey later,” he explains solemnly.

“Ah…I see. So…this is you, behaving yourself?”

The boy nods, then looks around sneakily and seeing nobody’s nearby he tugs on Bucky’s sleeve, making him come down to his level, whispering into his ear in clear conspiracy. “But…Pepper bought me a water gun set she insists I play with instead of the video games…so I’m declaring war soon!”

Bucky’s lips quirk upward, staring at Tony - the newest War Marshall and deciding to indulge him, he looks around just as sneakily as Tony did seconds ago. “Alright. Who’s the target, General Stark?”

Tony grins toothily. “Clint of course! Sam is going to be aerial support and Peter and T are ready for an ambush! And _we_ are going frontal assault with these!” he blurts out, jumping behind the sofa and bringing out two large water guns from who knows where, handing one to Bucky. “Watch out, they’re loaded!”

“Roger dodger!”

 

Needless to say Clint lost the war. And that’s how it goes every day. Nobody ever knows what is Tony going to come up with. Especially with such cunning accomplices.

Rhodey mostly indulges him in video games and lets him upgrade kitchen utensils when Tony gets extra bored, which makes him one of his favorite persons along with Natasha who plays some super spy Russian riddle games with him...in _Russian_. Because apparently tiny Tony speaks Russian. A cute, broken Russian but still Russian.

Then there's Vision, who Tony calls the _Red Jarvis_. They are able to spend the entire afternoon playing hide and seek…but because Vision just hides in between walls - which Tony doesn't know - he always wins by default. With Sam he devises clever pranks on Clint and with Steve he competes in sketching. Peter and T'challa act like big and bigger brother, which considering it's Tony usually ends up with more trouble for everyone else than less. Enter Wanda who acts like the strict older sister and much like the adult Tony, the tiny one is having none of it and pranks her as much as he pranks Clint.

It's really Pepper, who spoils him endlessly, Bruce and Bucky that ultimately end up making sure the little engineer prodigy doesn't end up destroying the Tower and eats and drinks between adventures. His favorite combination being orange juice and pancakes from Bruce for breakfast, team take-out for lunch and hot chocolate and toasts for dinner from Bucky.

Evenings, in fact, are Bucky’s alone. Tony takes his dinner to bed – because hey, he owns the Tower so he is allowed to do that! – and always drags Bucky along. At first he demands to be read a bedtime story but eventually they end up watching kid appropriate movies, cartoons mostly - much to Tony’s obvious dismay…but he never complains and watches one cartoon after another, falling asleep with a half eaten toast in one hand and a Hulk plushie in the other.

He’s a tornado. But the cutest one Bucky’s ever seen.

And it’s killing him. Every day, every moment spent in tiny Tony’s company is torture. Because it’s just an illusion…a dream that’s gonna end sooner rather than later. Once Tony is back to normal, everything else is going to be back to normal.

And they’re going to be strangers again. Worse than that, even.

But until then, Bucky pushes those thoughts away, because why not enjoy the dream while it lasts? Tony is a happy camper – literally, since he sets up a camping site in the middle of the common room one night and has everyone tell ghost stories until midnight – and if this is all Bucky will ever get, then he’ll take it, dreading the inevitable end.

And he’s not the only one. Everybody else is enjoying the arrangement - they’re having fun…well, Clint not so much…and can’t get enough of tiny Tony and his antics.

 

So when one day, almost two weeks after the incident, Tony shuffles into the kitchen in the morning, grabs a slice of bread and shuffles out without a single word, everyone is on high alert, dreading some bad news from Bruce, who immediately goes out to investigate the sudden mood change.

"Well, he's not ill," he informs the nervous crowd in the common room.

"Oh thank God," Steve breathes out, the team humming in agreement. "So what's the problem?"

"I'm...not entirely sure. He let me check him up, but aside from some mumbling he didn't say anything at all. Dummy's keeping him company but other than that he seems to want to be left alone."

" _Tony_...left _alone_...in the _workshop_...with _Dummy_?!" Clint states in absolute horror. "Does the Tower have insurance, FRIDAY?"

" _I don't think so, but I can assure you that I am keeping an eye on the boss, not letting him anywhere near dangerous appliances_."

"He can make a shoe lace dangerous," Clint mutters, undoubtedly remembering one of the ingenious pranks that involved tied shoe laces and puddle of mud.

" _The boss doesn't seem to have any destructive plans. He is currently napping on the couch_."

"Well...that's not like Tony at all," Steve comments with a frown.

"Yeah...he's usually all over the place by now," Rhodey nods, giving Bucky a questioning look. "Was he alright last night?"

Bucky shrugs, thinking back. "He was tired from all the afternoon running in the park but that's about it. As soon as he got to bed and hugged his Hulk plushie he was dead asleep."

"Perhaps he just needs a day off. Surely he can't stay so...hyperactive all the time," Vision muses.

"Ohhhh yes he can," Clint groans. "Trust me. Kids can go like that all day _every_ day."

"Let's give him some space. He'll come around," Steve decides and eventually the team gets back to breakfast.

Bucky lingers in the common room...unsure of what to do. With tiny Tony making crazy plans for everyone every day Bucky wasn't left to his own devices for days. He's forgotten how...bored he was...before.

He enjoys the kid's company - as loud and obnoxious as it is - but at the same time fears the moment Thor comes back with a solution. He knows this won't last. It can't. But he also knows that as soon as Tony's back to his usual self, he's going to start avoiding him again. He's going to look at him with fear instead of mischief.

The thought alone makes him wanna cry.

So he leaves his coffee abandoned on the table and goes for a run, hoping his brain will calm down somewhat.

It works. Nobody bothers him since to anyone else he looks like just another guy in a hoodie on a jog. He stops for a snack around noon and runs some more until he realizes it's getting dark and he's on the other side of Brooklyn. Feeling exhausted enough he decides to just walk back to the Tower, listening to some funky iPod music.

When he rounds the corner, just a block away from the now visible Tower, he's met with a livid crowd of people blocking the entire street.

"What the..." he mumbles, slowly walking towards the crowd while taking out his earphones.

The second he does, the gentle music is replaced with screams and cries, some coming from the crowd, but the louder ones are coming from somewhere beyond it.

He sneaks around the bystanders, trying to get to the side alley shortcut towards the Tower. It's not particularly safe, but _he_ doesn't exactly have to worry about that.

It's the smell of burnt rubber, motor oil and...flesh...that completely stops him in his tracks.

He chances a glance at the scene, only spotting a glimpse of what is happening through the onlookers.

A car crash. A bad one from the looks of it. Truck against a family sized car, head on.

Just another tragic accident that's gonna be mentioned in the news.

But not for Bucky. No. Not this soon after...

He runs. He runs, hoping his shaking legs are carrying him in the right direction. Away from that sight, from that smell, the screams.

When he somehow manages to barge into the Tower's elevator, frantically smash the button for his floor and bolt for his room he knows that heavy weight on his chest and the racing visions of blood and carnage in his broken mind is the panic taking reign. Pure and unstoppable panic.

He slides down the closed door, staring ahead at the darkened bedroom through the blur of unshed tears, focusing on taking wheezing breaths.

 _Breathe breathe breathe just breathe_ he chants in his head, knowing that the next stop is a panic attack. He's had a fair share of those, especially since breaking the Winter Soldier programming and it’s never fun. In a way, a very wrong and sadistic way, he enjoys it though…it feels like he deserves it.

"B...Bucky?" Comes a shaky voice and Bucky's head snaps up, meeting widened hazel eyes of one tiny Tony Stark.

So fragile, so... _innocent_.

And that's all it takes for him to suddenly go back to that chilly December night in 1991. That awful smell is back flooding his nostrils so fast it almost makes him throw up, the sound of screeching breaks is ringing in his ears along with Howard's desperate pleads and his wife's equally desperate screams.

Black spots start dancing in front of his eyes, even the sounds of the past fall into the background and Bucky hopes this is it. This is where his personal living hell, this nightmare of a life will end.

But then he feels the booming beats through his fingers.

_Thump thump…thump thump…thump thump…_

It's rapid at first but eventually it slows down into a comforting rhythm, sending pleasant vibrations throughout his palm. He takes in a painful breath, feeling it burn all the way into his lungs and when he exhales it comes out as a sob instead.

Someone tugs his head forward and suddenly that steady, powerful heartbeat is echoing inside his ear, silencing everything else.

This time his breathing turns into whimpers, but as oxygen finally gets back on the menu his mind starts clearing little by little. Instead of fire, blood and death he smells mint and chocolate mixed with something strangely familiar, a scent he's come to know and recognize in the past two weeks.

 _Tony_.

Tiny Tony who's got no idea he's holding onto the man that murdered his parents in cold blood.

It's a sobering thought. So much so the panic suddenly becomes just a dreadful tingling sensation in the back of his head. As his senses come back he realizes his head is pressed against Tony's small chest by one of his hands that's combing through his wild hair soothingly, while the other is rested on his back, moving ever so slowly in small circles. He's talking to him too, encouraging him to breathe, to listen to his heartbeats, saying everything's gonna be alright.

But it's _not_. It never will be. This...all of this was just a huge mistake. And if Tony disliked him before, he's going to straight up hate him after he's back to normal.

Bucky can feel the prickle of fresh tears behind his eyelids and while the panic stays safely subdued, it's pure fear and anger that makes Bucky squirm out of Tony's gentle hold and back away into a corner, far from the now confused boy.

"You should stay away from me," Bucky whispers, voice coarse and shaky.

"But - "

"Just leave me alone...please...you're not safe with me...," he interrupts Tony, while curling into a ball in the corner, hugging his knees together.

" _You're_ not safe with you," Tony says, as serious as he's ever heard him.

Bucky chokes on a hysterical laughter. "Yer right 'bout that."

"Then stop being a moron and let me hug your stupid, stubborn ass!"

"You've got no idea, Tony..." Bucky goes on, barely paying the boy any mind even as he gets up and shuffles towards him.

"Oh, really? Tell me abo - "

"I killed your parents!" He bursts out, stopping Tony in his tracks. "I smashed into their car, made it crash and then killed them both! Howard recognized me...he pleaded with me...and I still killed him! Because I'm a monster! A _weapon_...a...a..."

"A _moron_ ," Tony supplies, making Bucky look at him - really look at him for the first time tonight. "A big one. Don't feel too special, I'm a moron too...on good days. On bad days I'm just an asshole who beats up innocent supersoldiers, blasts off other people's metal arms and gets manipulated by second hand super villains. Wanna join the club or something?"

Bucky just gapes at the clearly still six years old body of Tony Stark, unsure of what else to do because that is not the six years old Tony Stark’s vocabulary. Nor memory.

The...tiny but not so tiny Tony groans, hands flailing animatedly in the air. "Yes! The secret's out, congratulations! I really hope this panic attack thing wasn't just a clever ploy to make me break the act because that would make me mad...and impressed at the same time," he says speedily, folding his arms...which still comes out more cute than defensive.

"You...you're..."

"Yep," he pops, smirking.

"This whole time..."

"Kinda...memories started coming back after a day or two," Tony thinks back.

"Why would you - "

"Becaaaaaaause...I was having a blast, alright?! I haven't had so much fun in five fucking decades! And I knew that as soon as I’d say that I'm _me_ again, it would get...weird. And weird is not fun. So I just played along. Until now I guess. But I was getting tired of your bullshit so..." He trails off and Bucky resumes his silent staring.

"Are you...I mean will you..."

"Be old and wrinkly again? According to Thor that'd be a yes. He contacted FRIDAY like four days after the...thing. The spell is gonna wear off eventually so yeah...just when I thought I could stay like this and grow up into the hottest twenty years old version of myself and conquer the world again. Or some hearts at least."

That startles a chuckle out of Bucky. "Yeah, because _you_ of all people must have a huge problem doing that even as your _old_ self. My ass..." He widens his eyes in shock as soon as the words leave his mouth but Tony's smirk only grows.

"True. I'd...make an innuendo joke about your ass but considering the situation and...well...this," he points at himself, "it'd be rather awkward. And weird. But I'll hold the thought for later."

"You mean _weirder_ , right? Because - "

"I'm sorry," Tony mumbles, eying Bucky uncertainly. "And before you go all confused about what I'm sorry for let me explain. I'm sorry...for being an asshole to you. This whole time. You didn't deserve it. None of it. But that's me alright...an asshole on bad days and back in Siberia...it was more like a bad week, really. Zemo sensed he could push some buttons so he did...and it worked because I couldn't stop my brain from short-circuiting. So...yeah...sorry I tried to kill you?" He says with a hopeful expression. "And shooting your arm off. I can promise this new one won't be as easy to blast off," he points at the metal arm, that looks almost identical to the original one, but Bucky could tell the difference as soon as the engineer mounted it off without a single word. It is lighter, more precise and easier to move. "But pffft, of course it won’t. It's not some second-hand HYDRA junk but _my_ tech so...oh and I'm sorry for uh...pretending to be a kid and being all...buddy buddy with you... _I_ was having fun but...Fry mentioned it might not be so fun for _you_ , all things considered."

"I...," Bucky starts but finds it hard to find words to continue with. "I thought you hated me...hell, you looked _scared_ of me..."

Tony rolls his eyes, shifting a bit closer to him. "You think I'd make you a state of the fucking art murder arm if I was scared of you?"

"But you - "

"Okay! Fine! So I...might have been a bit antsy around you...guess I'm sorry about that too. I can safely say I don't feel that way anymore."

"Really?"

"Really really! You're a big fucking teddy-bear, Barnes. I'm more scared of Dummy than you right now. That bot is a menace, I swear! He's one line of programming away from accidentally blowing up the planet!"

"I killed your parents," Bucky repeats, this time in a hollow, shameful voice.

"HYDRA killed my parents. Shh!" He raises a warning finger when Bucky opens his mouth to respond. "I can't blame you for that any more than I can blame myself for every single person my weapons ever killed. Something my therapist told me once...was a good advice. Can't blame the weapons, blame the ones using them. In this case - HYDRA. Yeah! Fuck HYDRA!"

"But - "

"You wanna compare kill counts?! 'Cause I've got news for you oh mighty Winter Soldier, mine’s bigger!"

Bucky nods slowly, staring into those fiery, determined eyes. Tony means this. All of this. And Bucky would breathe out a huge sigh of relief, if only his gradually returning cheeky self wasn't busy mulling over what Tony just said, making Bucky grin.

"You're thinking about a dick joke, aren't you?" Tony accuses him, only making Bucky grin wider. "Oh my god you _are_! You...pervert!"

"I'm not saying anything!" He defends himself.

"But you're thinking it!"

"I'm...holding the thought for later," Bucky throws Tony's earlier words at him, the grin softening into a smile that is soon mirrored on Tony's face.

"Good. Alright. A hundo says my ass joke is gonna be better!" Tony dares and Bucky gives into the laughter, feeling none of the panic, anger and self-hatred he did just minutes ago. "Feeling alright now?"

"Yeah. You? I mean...you were kinda down today. What's wrong?"

Tony waves a dismissive hand and moves to the door. "Never mind that. I...realized some things...and had an existential crisis. S'all good now," he smiles reassuringly at Bucky and nods at the door. "Speaking of _now_ , hot chocolate, toasts and you better let me watch at least something PG-13 rated before bed time because I swear if you put some Disney bullshit on again I'll scratch my eyes out!"

"Deal," Bucky agrees and joins him at the door, letting out a startled gasp when Tony casually takes his hand. It’s something he’s been doing this entire time but that was when…oh… _oh_!

"What? I'm maintaining appearances," he explains when Bucky raises a questioning eyebrow at him.

Bucky can tell that's most definitely not the case just from that mischievous glint in the small engineer's eyes, but doesn't comment on it. Just squeezes the hand ever so slightly, hoping to convey all the wild emotions swirling in his head right now in that simple gesture.

Judging from the gentle squeeze that comes back, he decides it was a success.

 

###

 

Five days later, Tony walks into the kitchen a grown man again acting all casual and flamboyant as usual, as if the past three weeks never happened. Everyone is compliant with it, falling back into their respective routine, even though the subtle disappointed looks don’t go unnoticed by Tony. After all, it wasn’t just him enjoying the time they’ve spent with his tiny self.

After a morning small talk with the team, Tony stops by Bucky and frowns, making said man confused and nervous at the same time. Tony eyes the sugary donut in Bucky’s hand and then raises his eyebrows appreciatively at his behind.

“Did you sit in all that sugar? ‘Cause you’ve got a helluva sweet ass,” he says with the biggest grin Bucky’s ever seen on his face.

He finds himself returning it, trying to hide the heat that rose up to his cheeks. All of them cheeks.

The team falls into stunned silence, Steve even drops his sesame baguette on the floor – what a food waster! – in shock. Tony of course never told them that he got his memories back pretty early on and then made a deal with Thor not to tell anyone. Because why stop having fun now, right?

Bucky rolls his eyes, knowing exactly what Tony is waiting for. “I’d tell you that dick joke…but it’s too long.”

“Woooow,” Natasha drawls and pulls Clint up by his ear and drags him out of the kitchen along with Sam with her second hand while muttering something about getting the hell out of the Twilight Zone.

“I second that, yeah. Wow, Barnes. Did you google that one? It must be older than you!” Tony exclaims teasingly.

“It probably is.” Bucky doesn’t know where he gets the balls to lean into Tony’s personal space and whisper a tentative: “Doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” into the grown engineer’s ear but he does, all the while wiggling his eyebrows at the now positively stunned man.

“Okaaaay…now _there’s_ a thought…,” Tony stammers, eyes filled with intent again.

“Gotta hold it then,” Bucky smirks, getting a groan out of the engineer and a choked sound from Steve, who is still stunned by the kitchen counter. “The thought, I mean.”

“Yeah yeah…you win. The hundo is yours, innuendo master,” Tony flails and grabs his forgotten cup of coffee. “Should be enough for you to afford taking me out to dinner tonight,” he adds inconspicuously, not losing his smile, but his eyes change into something else. Something…vulnerable just then. 

Bucky nods thoughtfully. “I know a place. Great burgers and shakes. No toasts and hot chocolate.”

“Oh thank god!” Tony squeals and heads towards the exit with a wink Bucky’s way. “Can’t wait.”

“Yeah. Can’t wait,” Bucky repeats the words and watches Tony disappear into the common room with a disbelieving head shake.

If someone told him a month ago that he’d be setting up a date with Tony Stark in few week’s time, he’d call them insane.

“Wh…wha?!” Steve stutters, his vocabulary successfully erased.

“It’s ah…long story, Stevie. And it’s gonna get longer still,” he ponders aloud and leaves his best friend gaping alone in the kitchen, his thoughts already going to tonight.

Because that particular story will most definitely not be PG-13.

**oooFINooo**


End file.
